Instead I continue to play Russian roulette with my skin, and thank my lucky stars I’m not at the beach this weekend. At least it’s adding a sense of peril to my morning commute which has definitely been missing since I stopped travelling through Harrow on a daily basis. … Read More The day I dyed my crotch pink
I filled in all of the forms, and even told the truth about my alcohol intake because, like I said, I am a grown up now, and grown ups don’t lie about how much wine they put away while watching Countryfile.… Read More N.H. Oh Yes.
Imagine my horror when I discovered that this life I created needed regular feeding or it would die and become nothing more than wallpaper paste in a jar.… Read More Sourdough, or Why I Might Never Be A Mother
A significant part of my Cornwall dream rests on me becoming the kind of person who hangs around at the beach. If I could end up one of those tanned, blonde, super-fit surfer chicks then so much the better, but I accept that less than two weeks after moving might be a little soon to… Read More Walking on water
I’ve been stuck in my flat for a lot of my first week. Not, like, all the time, but bar going to work and taking an occasional trip to buy unnecessary cut-price vegetables, I’ve been stuck in rooms full of boxes trying to make a dent in the flat packs. I’m in kind of a… Read More It’s beginning to look a lot like Cornwall
If it weren’t for the fact that all the things are still in boxes, you could definitely walk through the front door and assume I’d been there for years rather than a week.… Read More I bought a swede
My £9 TV stand is far sturdier than I had anticipated. Sturdy enough to propel me into a brief-but-steep spiral of paranoia. They should use that on the adverts.… Read More I have a weight problem
I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that a person gets a teardrop tattoo under their eye when they’ve murdered someone. Which is super-interesting, because one of the delivery guys had two.… Read More A Tale of Two Deliveries
I let him because I’m a strong, independent woman, but when I’m knackered and stressed and sweating feminism can do one.… Read More First Night
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that if I’m going to go and see something involving incredibly graceful Disney princesses I will fall arse over tit beforehand.… Read More Falling before I fly
